what is and should always be....

another led zeppelin title to a blog..only this time i'm publishing this....so i got home this evening and realized....i'm quite smitten.....smitten with a man who's afraid of smitten women....afraid...perhaps...numb....he says he is dead inside....fair enough....i can understand that....but why now? when i meet him? why couldn't it have been before this chick fucked his head in? Anyways...such is my life....as the dutch say ....' net niet' ....close but not quite.......

atleast i'll have stories to tell to my 50 cats when i'm 45, single, writing raunchy romance novels...being known as the fucking scary wench on the corner by all the kids.....

tja....

tonight...a taxi driver saw me from across the road and went out of his way to disobey traffic rules...and then asked me all sorts of questions...fucker...even gave me his number....i am content to know that i am recognized...i dont have to be to feel worthy but...it's a nice feeling..however....never felt by the ones i want....

eventho...this special one i'm in love with....it was like that for a while....

but someone hit pause...please...i've had enough of a break for now...i want to smell him and touch him again......again and again.....and fall asleep....with his hand in mine.....the way it was....just for a while...no worries about forever .......the wicked ways of the curly angel....

to be continued...... but it will take a while.....

patience....

in the meantime...goes by quickly if i smile....